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Wednesday, October 10, 2007

How Myspace Will Destroy My Campaign For President


As the debates rage all over the air waves about Hillary's laugh & Obama's lapel pin, I've started thinking: Imagine if the internet was around when these candidates were in their youngin' days. Imagine all the dirt the media would be uncovering about the contenders. Now, fast forward 35 or so years ahead and think all the dirt that will uncovered when someone over at the New York Post finds Susan Hopeful's Myspace blog from her high school days calling Bush a imperialistic fuck face for the war in Iraq right next to the blog calling Jessica Sanchez a "beaner bitch" cause she stole her boyfriend. As you know, all the stuff you post on the internets is archived and can (and will) be accessed for decades to come. That pic of you wearing next to nothing? Archived. That blog where you described your acid trip while you drove to your buddy's house? That's there, too. So you say you never, ever plan to get into public office? That's cool, but never say never. And remember, when that lawsuit comes up and your comment on someone's thread from 15 years ago contradicts your testimony, there's only one person to blame. Shit's crazy and by even venturing out into the nether regions of the net, you risk opening yourself up. But then again, every time you drive anywhere, you opening yourself up to a gruesome death, as well. Just be careful about shit (haven't you seen those wonderful PSA's on the telly?). I already have the claim that Cesar Chavez is a communist on my blog and I'm sticking by it (for now). Maybe one of these days, that comment will lose my the hispanic vote and cause me to lose my 2040 Presidential bid......more like Firebaugh city mayoral bid, actually. Either way, it's gonna be very interesting to see how all this is gonna come into play in the near future. You think it's bad now? Just wait. I'm positive it's only going to get nastier. But the question is should they be held accountable for the ideas and thoughts they had as teens or young adults? In my opinion, no. But the media doesn't care and news is news. Headlines sell and always will and they will. It's just crazy to step back and realize that the arena of the presidential campaign is ever so dynamic. A lot changes in 4 years. I mean the You Tube debates? Who would of ever though that kind of stuff would be happening 4 years ago? Now, the candidates are taking questions from a SNOWMAN! A FUCKEN SNOWMAN!! Next election, I'll be asking Stephen Colbert what he thinks was the best video game system of all time and why, all while we blast each other away during an online game of Halo 5.

2 comments:

Adrian said...

Yeah I've thought about this, since I WILL be president in 2028 of Amerexicanada, bought and paid for with genuine Ameros. But I don't think I'll have to worry about my past when I'm teleporting to Saudi-Israelia to calm relations with the Cyborg Resistance.

With everybody's past compromised, I tend to think that the whole idea of being a completely straight-laced candidate will disappear like the Sony Walkman.

btw "But the media doesn't care and news is news. Headlines sell and always will and they will." is an overgeneralization bro. It hurts my feelings, so check for a headline about your seedy past on my site in a couple days -- with a headline that will make your head explode!

Oh dammit, you already used that one.

lou said...

yep, the overzealous media is polarizing our country and destroying our political process. Also,Chavez WAS a commy, ask my grandpa. mmmm, blanket statements,... so warm and cozy!!!!