Back in 1994, I was kicked off from AOL when I was accused of running unauthorized programs. That essentially killed my budding hacker career as I didn't gain access to the internet until my college days. Back then, I was living in Firebaugh, using AOL (they only way to access the internet out there) on my 14.4k modem all while making long distance phone calls to Fresno for access. What was I doing? Everything and nothing. I mean, pROn never came to mind (which now kinda scares me that it didn't) as I was focused on this blank world that nobody I knew had access to. The internet was a vast, underground, uncharted world and I felt like Christopher-Fucken-Columbus as I went out every night talking to these faceless voices from across the country and world. In 1995, the world was blessed with the awesomeness that is "Hackers" and at the same time, Angelina Jolie was introduced to my heart (BTW, that image up there is from the original promotional web site for the film after it was hacked shortly after it went up. Check out the archived site here). Honestly....I enjoy watching movie. Yeah, it was, from a technical stand point, all wrong. Yes, the story was horrible. But on the plus side, it had an electronica soundtrack (that is still unrivaled) and it also had Jolie boobies for a half second. I watch it now and love to see the outdated technology jargon they use and reminds me of how underpowered my system was back then (It also scares me to think about the damage a tech savvy kid these days with too much time on his hands could do today) but I always wondered what true hackers thought of the film. Enter PhreakNIC. They have produced an MP3 commentary for the film and it's.....entertaining. Yeah, for the most part, it's a bunch of drunk guys talking over each other talking shit on everything but they do offer a little insight into the hacker world as they blast what's right and wrong with the film. If you have time and can put up with the kinda annoying voices, it's definately worth a listen. Just load it onto your iPod, throw the DVD on and SYNC! You can check out the MP3 here, or go visit the site here. If your at all interested in diving into this world you should visit www.2600.com. There you will find a gateway into a whole other world. Maybe they'll base "Hackers 2" on your story!

Zero Punctuation is the name of Mr. Yahtzee's weekly video game review for "The Escapist" magazine based out of Australia. I've been watching his reviews for a while now and although they've mostly been him meat waffling a game in the prose of the Micro Machines guy from those commercials in the 80's (hence the name Zero Punctuation) he manages to not sound trite and keeps stuff fresh most of the time. Watch one of his reviews and judge for yourself. I wonder if there will ever be a game where he doesn't talk shit on, though? We came close a couple of times (if you like this Resident Evil one then you must go through his archive for past reviews) but he just seems like that one asshole coach that was never satisfied. But then again, how funny would a love letter from this guy be, right? The Zero Punctuation blog can be found here! Oh, and I might add that by adult, I mean exactly that. The language and images are NSFW so consider yourself warned and slap those headphones on, ya prude!

For the past week or so, I've been involved in the awesome judicial process when I was selected to serve as a juror on a case. As you might know, during the trial, we are not allowed to speak to anyone about the case. Spouse, friends, not even my dog could hear what was going on with the case. That ended yesterday when we all came to agreement on the matter. So now that it's over, I can get back to my regular scheduled program. So what's been going on besides a certain local blog hijacking one of my stories/videos? It's cool, though. I got about 10 days on them anyways. Plus, nobody reads my shit. ANYHOO, lets get the show back on the road!

Me & Elizabeth Kucinich...yeah, she looks very nice in person, too. I was enjoying a final session with Masa-san over at Kame since he has decided to shut down the restaurant due to slow business. While we sat there, discussing the fact that the Kucinich clan was meeting at a Denny's somewhere here in our fair city, in walked the redhead lady in red. The odds, right? Anyways, after she finished her dinner and was leaving I asked if she'd be willing to take a picture with me and she said yes. Very nice lady, had a quick conversation with all of us at the table. Although it's highly doubtful that here husband will win the Democratic Nomination, I wished her luck on the campaign trail and off she went. You know what that means? That's like 3 degrees of separation between me and Colbert! Read Late Update for more detailed info on what the Kucinich clan did & will be doing here in Fresno this week.

Well, almost nothing. Sure a couple thousand dollars of equipment, costumes, transportation, locations and straight out mad skills are also included in that "nothing" but compared to a Hollywood production.....NOTHING! But it's just amazing to see that process. As the video progresses, you just see the magic come together and the payoff (I haven't seen the final output, which is a show that going to air on the BBC) looks great at the end of it. Check it out and get inspired!

"I drink your milkshake! I drink it up!"

Well, unfortunately "There Will Be Blood" from director P.T. Anderson has yet to hit theaters here in the Fresno (now I hear that very soon it will), but this New York magazine article is already calling one of it's lines as THE catchphrase of the year. As much as I hate people who do this (C'mon, if I have to hear one more person make a McLovin quote I will rip their lungs out and make balloon animals out of them) I don't think that the milkshake quote will have enough steam to reach those levels of saturation. I mean, for the most part, most people will not go see this movie (when the trailer played in front of "Atonement" the people next to me, yes the "cunts", reacted as if someone had shoved a spoonful of turd in their mouths). But who knows, right? Humanity could surprise me? Better leave a comment or I drink your milkshake! I drink it up!

Cloverfield — 2.5 Stars

This was a hard film for me to review. It stuck with me long after I walked out of that theater. And it wasn't just because it literally almost caused me to go home and puke.

Since the very beginning, I always wondered "Why are they releasing this movie in January?" I mean, January is reserved for Oscar contenders opening wide and horrible films that studios wish to go away quietly. Which kinda kept me wondering what the strategy was behind releasing this movie at this time. Fast forward to a couple of hours after the movie was over and my stomach was back under control and I've had time to contemplate the film. Shaky cam. I hate shaky cam. This is the reason that Michael Bay pisses my off so much. I love seeing shit blow up and he blows shit up REAL good. But it doesn't matter how badass and action sequence is when you can't see a damn thing! Cloverfield offers almost the reverse experience of a Bay film. Everything else is shaky cam and the action scenes are some of the more focused ones. Still shaky but nonetheless better. The phrase "Blair Witch" will be brought back into our vernacular when people talk about this movie due to the excessive camera movement. Now, watching that movie was not a problem for me. At all. I knew people that worked in the theater while it was playing there years back and I've heard the stories of having to clean up vomit from people that simply couldn't take all the camera movement. I can only imagine the sea of puke that this flick will summon.

It was about 15 mins. or so into the film that I felt it. That but of queasiness that preludes a vomit fest. I began to wonder if it was something that I had eaten before coming to the movie because....I mean, I'm not a bitch! I know it's not because of all this camera movement. I know some people that can't handle First Person video games or films like "Blair Witch" and I always made fun of them for it so this can't be the reason for me feeling this way. I took breaks from the film and simply stared at the floor in front of the screen to try to regain my stomach. Didn't work. Closed my eyes. Nope. Dammit. Am I the only one? I tried to look around to see if anyone else was feeling this and although I saw people leaving and returning all the time, it wasn't anything abnormal. When the film was over I leaned over and asked my buddy BigRobStank (be sure to read his review by clicking here) to see if he was feeling weird. And he confirmed that I wasn't the only one. Vindicated, I felt that this shouldn't be happening. I mean, for a film to physically get you sick like this....I'm not sure if that's good. But afterwards, I began to look past this little slight hiccup and absorb what I had just seen.

Now, back to our originally scheduled program. The film was good. The concept is definitely an experiment and this is why it was released at this time of the year. Release now: it's an experimental film. During the summer: people will be pissed cause they were expecting a Hollywood blockbuster. And people were pissed at the end of this. The thing is that this film is actually both. Except that the eye candy is kept to a minimum and the story triumphs everything else. Remember that scene in the movie "Signs" where the alien walks by the camera at the birthday party? There are a bunch of moments like that in this film. Is the story amazing? Not really, but it's good enough. Would a story involving children or a family be more interesting than a bunch of yuppies or would that be cliché and too "War Of The Worlds"? Whatever, it works. There is a monster in this film but it takes back seat to the human characters in the film. Is that good or bad? Guess that'll all depend on if your able to stomach the kinetic lens your stuck with and how much of that human emotion makes it past that very lens and to the audience. Indeed, it was a distraction. Too much, in my case. I love the concept but it's initial intake was simply overwhelming. But I really do want to watch the film again. Just not in the theater. I'll be waiting for it on DVD and make sure the sound is cranked up (the sound is AWESOME). Just beware: If you do go to the theater to watch this movie. The camera is moving through 97% of the film. If you come prepared: pack the Dramamine and maybe you can enjoy the film more than I did my first go around. I'm sure the second will be a better experience for me. Although judging from the audience reaction when the film ended, I'm sure most won't give this film a second spin.

If you want to get some back story on the world of "Colverfield," here are some of the viral web sites associated with the film. I have yet to go through and explore but if your thinking about watching this film, have fun exploring!

Jamie & Teddy (password:jllovesth)

Slusho

Tagruato

T.I.D.O Wave

www.1-18-08.com

Here is an article about a possible manga associated with the film. Very interesting... Thanks to Candyland for the link!

Also be sure to visit my vomit comrade Rob's blog, One Picture's Worth, for his review of the film.

To the north side. Soon, I'll be a member of the Riverpark community when we move in to our new apartment located not far from it and all its awesomeness. Kinda no sure about it yet: Excited, yes. But a bit unsure of how long I can before I'm found taking those River-punks out with a sniper rifle. Meh, as long as I don't start talking like this...


....then it'll be all good. I'll miss the random police shakedowns and drunken people in my car port (although that stat might go up on that side of town) but now I can spend endless hours at Barnes & Noble without buying a damn thing! Thanks to Morales for that TOTALLY TUBULAR clip!

Now it's time for some quick movie reviews:

Godfather II — 4 Stars
Finally sat down and watched this film in a single sitting. Does it live up to the hype? Well, yes and no. I remember my parents watching these movies like twice a year and they always talked about them like they were the new coming of Jesus but I never watched them. Then they saw Part 3 and they were SO disappointed. I bought the DVDs when they were first released about 5 years ago but never sat down and watched them. Just last year, I saw Part 1 and this weekend was my date with Part 2. I thought it was a great film, don't get me wrong but it's kind of hard for me to appreciate the film some 30 years after it was released. At the time it was released, I'm sure it was the best thing ever and it still holds up real good and better than 95% of the crap that Hollywood releases every year. But I think you wait another 30 years and ask this generation (with no clue of this list) what the 100 greatest films ever are and that list will totally be different. My kids are not gonna find "Clerks" as funny as I do, that's for sure. But still, it was a great film and I look forward to see just how bad Part 3 really is.

Juno — 3.5 Stars
Great film. Dialogue, acting, direction. All good. I'm sure you all have heard of this movie by now. It was kinda distracting to see Shadowcat, J.K. Jameson & Electra sitting around discussing babies but that's just the comic book nerd in me See this now!


I Heart Huckabee's — 3 Stars
Hmmmm....still pondering this one....which is good! I mean, it really gets your brain going, issuing you a challenge like a sudoku puzzle for your existence. It might come of as a bit pretentious (Oh, David O. Russell, you) but if you want to sit and process it all, it can leave you a bit overwhelmed. Fun stuff!

Since I forgot to mention it in my first post of the year, happy New Year everyone! It's that time where people say "This year is gonna be different. This year will be the defining year for ME!" and of course, it ends up being the same shit. Well, you know what else it also means? MACWORLD, BABY! And what's that? Is that CES (Consumer Electronics Show) I hear down in Vegas? What the hell? Detroit Auto Show, as well?! January is really busy and all types of cool, nerdy shit is flowing out of every orifice. 3 mm (yes, MM) thick TVs, updated Apple computers that I will dream about for a couple of weeks (Diana...hope your reading this *hint,hint*), super dope cars......and still no money. Maybe I have to become a stripper and pen a box office smash (which I still have yet to see, unfortunately), like she did or sue the government for a quadrillion dollars like this person. That's it....this year will be the year that I say next year, I'll be having enough cash flow to be able to look at these big three January shows and say "Fuck it! Give me 2 of each and burn the second one!" But for now, I'll simply be stuck on the outside looking in as I rub my hands in menacing fashion, waiting to strike.

After my trip to Me-Jee-Co, I came back to a United States to semi-sane drivers, Mountain Dew and an assassinated former prime minister (RIP Benazir Bhutto). Quick to wanna get some movie time, my fiance and I went to the local cineplex to catch "Atonement", the new film from Joe Wright starring Keira Knightley & James McAvoy. While watching that film (among some fucking 40 year old cunts who couldn't shut the fuck up about the word "Cunt" being used in the film and began giggling like some teenagers watching "The Miracle Of Life" for the first time) I noticed that there was a very long, very nicely textured steadicam shot that lasted what seemed like forever. 5 and a half minutes, according to this article. Weird to see such an article running as a mainstream story but it's cool to see that it got recognized. Although I thought the shot wasn't as good and groundbreaking as the one Cuaron did in "Children Of Men" of which you can catch the making of here:

Still, there are plenty of other films (as mentioned in the article) that have had stunning shots like these and to just think about the steadicam operators that have to endure with walking around with all that equipment to get the shots....amazing to me, it's truly an art form and those guys deserve every penny they earn!

"The Dark Knight" trailer was released this weekend attached to some movie named "I Am Legend" or something like that. Anyways, back to the trailer.....very nice! Check it out here for yourself! Next summer it's gonna be on with Batman fighting for box office bucks against Iron Man and the Incredible Hulk. Good time to be a comic book fanboy nerd like myself right now!

Yes, "w00t" is a word, officially. Just look at that word for a moment. w00t. Now you must be wondering "That shit ain't a word, man. It's got two numbers smack dab in between a dubya and a tee!" If that is indeed you saying that statement, congratulations.....your wrong and your old. According to this, the good people at Merriam-Webster Inc. have named "w00t" the new word of the year and are going to add it to the dictionary. L33t speak (pronounced "Leet Speak," "leet" being a degenerate form of the word "elite") has been around the net forever, but it wasn't until a good friend of mine introduced the proper name for the language a couple of months ago. The term "Pwn" has been in my vocab for a while now and I use it in my everyday speak. Sometimes I get people who get it while others just look at me like I just said I like to smash bottles into my face for fun. But I'm still old compared to the kiddies whose entire vocab is proliferated with the terms. Every time I go to Riverpark or the mall, I can't pass a group of teens with hearing a "WTF" or a "BFF" as they walk by, increasing my urge to SMASH and wondering "What the fuck am I doing here?" follwed by a "Fuck I'm old" (notice I didn't abbreviate of those). The world is truly turning into that damn AT&T commercial and if that's the stuff I'm going to have to deal with with my kids, someone's gonna end up getting choked! But for now, the intro of l33t speak words to our "normal" speak dictionary can only mean the end is near. Or those uncreative bastards over at Merriam-Webster are just a bunch of saps looking to gather some attention the the fledgling dictionary industry.

Well, the much publicized battle between Apple & NBC has gave way to HULU, to which I received my beta key this morning to test the site. And that's when I saw that Natalie Port....actually, she'll always be Mathilda to me so let me amend that....Mathilda stars in from an old SNL, it brought smiles to my face. For those of you aware, NBC (as are most other networks) was always been scary about other sites such as You Tube & Google Video posting clips from their lineup. For a while, iTunes was the answer for that, selling episodes there. But that came to an end earlier in the year and NBC promised to start up their own digital distribution center. Hence, HULU. So far so good. The site loads pretty speedy, the clips are high quality and they have some old, good stuff. I don't personally watch any NBC shows (don't watch that much TV, period) but it cool to have all these clips available to embed and email to friends. What was weird was that there are also other network shows such as "Family Guy" and "The Simpsons" from FOX and some Bravo shows available there, too. What does that mean? I'm not sure, but I think NBC is ready to go to war with Apple & ABC, there gonna need all the help they can muster and FOX could be a good ally. If you get a chance, check out HULU and sign up for the beta to check out a hefty library of clips from all the NBC library. Oh, Mathilda.....all grown up and looking good in high quality streaming video. This could only mean good things for the future, right?

So a while back I noticed that an official Hellboy 2 web site had opened up and on that site, there were some forums where people could ask director Guillermo Del Toro questions. I asked, he answered. Check out the thread right here. Pretty cool, huh? I've met Del Toro when he was doing the press for the first Hellboy movie and he was a great guy and he even threw down a sketch of himself in my sketchbook. It's awesome that a director of his caliber is always cool with mingling with the fanboys like myself. And for those of you who don't know what the RED camera is, check it out here. Basically, it's a digital camera that shoots very close to film quality. How close? Nearly indistinguishable. The first feature that will be shot entirely using this camera is a little movie named "Wanted" based on the mind blowing graphic novel by Mark Millar. Check out the trailer or the samples you can find on the RED site (along with a short that Peter Jackson shot as a test for the camera). Very good stuff. And all for the low, low price of around $20,000. Truly a baragin, no joke. Soon enough, all video quality will be looking like Hollywood and not like someone ran it through a meat waffler. The future is here and with classy directors like Del Toro always willing to do fan service, cinema, as a whole, has a bright future ahead! VIVA MEXICO, CABRONES!

A long time ago, a couple of friends and I decided to make stencils to paster our images around town, a sort of competition to see who could get there art around the city without getting caught (I guess that's every graf artists M.O. but I'm far from one). Well, at that time, I was very much enamored of a certain Michelle Rodriguez (laugh all you want but back then, she was an up and comer with potential and I was rooting for her). Hence, the stencil I created as you can see above. Well, as far as our friendly competition, it never happened. The only thing I ever used the stencil was on a white box I bought at the Uhaul store when I moved from my old apartment and that box has been chilling next to my desk at home. Recently, I've been wanting to get into my roots but I wasn't very sure about how. Should I bone up my drawing skills? Naw, I suck. How about painting? I mean, Bob Ross could do it, why not me? And then one night I was looking for something around my pile of shit and there was Michelle staring right back at me. She's fallen off my radar these days but I remember making that stencil and the fun I had doing it. And so that image up there was born: a 14x18 canvas board with a little accent added, just to test. Easy and fun! Here are some sites if your interested and this art form and be scared to try it yourself....just remember that tagging stuff that isn't yours is illegal and shouldn't be done....EVER! Now that that's out of the way....anyone up for a friendly competition?

Street Art - What Wikipedia has to say about the art form.

Banksy - Further proof that if we were to get the worlds graphic artists into a battle royale, the UK would undoubtedly defeat everyone else.

Stencil Revolution - A good source for ideas and examples of existing stencils and awesome tutorials.

Stencil Tutorial - Pretty much says it all. A beginners guide to create your own stencils in Photoshop

Stencil Street Art - Another good gallery

Stencil Archive - Yet another archive

Stencil Nation's Fickr Account - Swear this is the last one! Check it out!

Wow, that's kinda cool to see "Director" follow my name. Anyway, here is my interview that I did for the friendly folks over at Zona Azteca, a local show that airs every Friday at 6pm on TV Azteca Ch 39 here in Fresno. Visit their web site here for up to date info. I tried to wear a solid green shirt as to have just my massive head floating in front of the green screen and have some cool graphics behind me but I couldn't find anything in my size in time (wow, the camera really does add 125 lbs.) and I wasn't about to go all Charlie's Green Man for this. Anyways, check it out, enjoy my pillaging of the spanish language and my 2 Best Buy name drops....I should really stop promoting those devil bastards. Also, watch out for my stupid little laugh at the end. Reminds me of this guy's laugh at the end.......damn, is my head really that big? Cast your vote in the "Head" poll over to the right! NYUP!

So I was interviewed for the show "Zona Azteca" for local station TV Azteca. The thing is, it was all in spanish. Now, my spanish is normally pretty good (just don't tell Diana that) but being that this was my first TV interview (the Laidlaw bus crash doesn't count) AND my first interview in spanish, well, that didn't help much. Wanna see the train wreck? Tune in to channel 77 tonight at 6pm to find out. Oh, and that's channel 77 if you have comcast cable. The regular, over the air channel is 39. I'll be talking about the film, the film community here in Fresno and you can see some clips from our short "An Inch Or A Mile." What a way to start off your weekend, right?

While I'm here, I'm also going to reward you for making it all the way to the end of this post. Go to BFAds.net to get a jump start on how your going to empty your bank account the day after Thanksgiving (commonly known as "Black Friday" in the industry) by checking out the ads for some major retailers. Have fun in the mosh pit of people but try not to lose your wig!

Dear Roque,

Thank you for contacting our office regarding drag street racing. Our office is un aware of any proposition in Fresno. If you have any other questions please feel free to contact our office.

Sincerely,

District 7

That is the email I got back when I decided to contact District 7 Councilman Henry T. Perea (he was supposedly seen at the Film Festival last weekend where my street racing inspired short played and a fellow SJMer, and might I add) about the city council possibly supporting the opening of a local drag strip here in Fresno. I guess the district he represents has become self aware and is now doing it's own PR by fielding questions (hey, at least it spelled my name right). Well, at least I got a response (that's more than I got from Autry's camp), but not exactly the one I was hoping for. And the entropy continues....

Well, the short film competition at the 1st Annual Latino Film Festival ended with a winner: A full length documentary film. "WTF?!" you might say (I said worse), after all, the film entry requirements for the competition called for films under 30 minutes (the winner was 50 mins. in length). Fair or unfair, I guess but we have to start somewhere, right? I feel sorry for 15-year old Antonio Garcia, whose film "You Owe Me One" also played there (and both met the requirements AND was extremely entertaining). How would you feel if you showed up to your first pick-up basketball game thinking your facing off against a peer only to find out that you'll be facing a player from the NBA. Not cool, especially when your that age and your craft is still developing. Hopefully, next year, the festival will make sure that these kind of mismatches don't happen again and it'll make the competition fair for all that enter. But most launches are a little rocky so we'll chalk it up to the shiny, brand-newness of it all. Hopefully, next year will bring in more entries, more attendees & a better over all experience for all who enter and attend. Thanks to the Fresno Art Museum for putting on the show!

It's finally here and I'm actually pretty excited. I mean, even if nobody shows up, just being able to see our film projected....that should be cool. And seeing your name in print is always cool, right? Check out this article from the today's Fresno Bee for more specific info on the festival as far as times and dates are concerned. We'll be playing Sunday at noon so if you can make, come on out! Spread the word, post it on a bulliten over on Myspace, tell a cousin, a friend, a co-worker, WHATEVER! Lets just try to get some people to realize that there's a lot going down right here in our very own backyard. Enough yammering from me, now you can enjoy the trailer for "Matando Cabos" the opening film playing tonight. It's highly recommended!

Matando Cabos - Theatrical Trailer (Spanish)

Mexican teens are just as quirky as Americans ... as demonstrated in this dark comedy about teens who kidnap a retired wrestling legend and a parrot.