The Dumb Are Mostly Intrigued By The Drum

Horseshit!(diggin' the new format) Entertainment Weekly has decided on the "100 new movie classics of the last 25 years" so everyone fire up your queue. Part of their top 1000(movies music, books, etc.) double issue, the list does include some classics (spidey 2, scissorhands, memento) that you can check out here, but I take serious issue with the top three.

Yes, I understand EW is mainstream media in the truest sense. Yes, these movies made ass-tons of cash. And, Yes, it has been weeks since N E 1 other than Brodie has posted. None of that, however, helps me wrap my head around this "top 100 " list. Pulp Fiction (meh), The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (ugh), and Titanic (splorch) as the first, second and third spots could signal the end of days, man. Seven seals and four horsemen are upon us, and wotnot.

First of all, one of the selections is three(3) damn movies that, no, do not "live and breath " as one. Titanic is all but unwatchable unless its for the chill of witnessing passengers plummet perilously to the sea as the ship snaps in twain, or seeing Leo slip into silent slumber beneath the surf(damn thats fun, roq). Pulp Fiction did show us that non-linear stories could be fun, and how anal rape = blowtorch pliers. Did you give a damn about any of those characters, go ahead ask yourself. No! Not even Samwise or his fukn' Po-Ta-Toe's. "We need e-mow-shun-awl cawn-tent"(obscure ref. +1). IMHO, four of these 3 movies were masturbatory exercises of Lucas-like proportions(lucas-ian?), and Pulp Fiction is a real good flik at best.

Classics? I say thee nay!